TURTLE THOUGHTS

David Brooks Lets a U.S. Senator Get to 2nd Base Then Gushes About It on MSNBC

Here's an item for the Things I'd Just As Soon Not Know but Tell Me Anyway category. New York Times columnist and PBS/NPR commentator David Brooks told MSNBC that he sat next to a Republican Senator at a dinner during which the senator kept his hand on Brooks' inner thigh throughout the evening.

Brooks wouldn't say who it was (my money's on Lindsey Graham, but there are just so many possibilities, who can say? Yeah, I know Crist isn't actually a Senator, but he's running, so I included him.) 

I wonder, why the heck would Brooks say this? Does he really want us to cogitate on the thought of him letting somebody grope him all night, even if that person was a United States Senator?  Are we supposed to admire his restraint or be disturbed by his nonchalant attitude? And doesn't he seem to have the oddest bit of pride about the whole thing? If it had been the president, would Brooks have let him go all the way? (Well, we all know the answer to that question.)

When the news mannequin asked him if he'd had a couple of drinks, Brooks said he was just trying not to be too dignified and stuffy. Well done, David! Well done.  After whoring for these guys in your columns all these years, you're finally getting some recognition for it.

 

 David Brooks relaxes at home (left) and but butches it up for work (right).

BREAKING NEWS!!! Michael Jackson Still Dead

Geez-Louise. More than 72 hours after the fact, at least stop calling it 'breaking news.' And I'm talking to you, CNN and MSNBC.

Happy Fist Bump/"Terrorist Fist Jab" Day!

                 

It was June 3, 2008 when Michelle and Barack Obama exchanged what one Fox News Mannequin called "a terrorist fist jab."  Meanwhile, normal people thought it was a great moment that showed true camaraderie and genuine affection between the now-First Couple. Whatever. It's just hard to believe it's been a year.

                         

Bill O'Reilly Complicit in Doctor's Murder?

The murder of Dr. George Tiller, a Kansas physician who was one of the few doctors willing to perform late-term abortions in the US, is the latest example of domestic Christian fundamentalist terrorism. Tiller was gunned down while handing out programs as part of his usher duties at church Sunday morning. The gunman shot him to death in front of his wife and friends before fleeing and being captured later in the day.

While the police deal with suspect Scott Roeder, there is a movement afoot to show Bill O'Reilly's complicity in the murder for repeatedly reporting on Tiller's so-called "baby killing" on his show. O'Reilly demonized Tiller nearly 30 times in the past four years, according to Salon's Gabriel Winant, even going so far as to call him "Tiller the Baby Killer." He said Tiller was "executing babies" and operating "a death mill."

This is part of an ongoing pattern with O'Reilly and others in the rightwing echo chamber. O'Reilly was a chief source of inspiration for Jim David Adkisson, the Knoxville man who gunned down two people and wounded several others at a Unitarian-Universalist church service. Adkisson attacked the church because he wanted to kill liberals "who are ruining the country." Sean Hannity and Michael Savage were among the few authors on his reading list.

The Oklahoma City federal building bombing, the murders of doctors who provide abortions, and the killing of innocents by people who have been told it's their patriotic duty to off liberals all have something in common: They are acts of domestic Christian fundamentalist terrorism, and one of the reasons these terrorists do what they do is because they feel empowered and inspired by O'Reilly and his cohorts.

                                                 

Olbermann Tires of Waiting for Hannity to Keep His Word

Keith Olbermann is donating $10,000 to the group Veterans of Valor as a result of a rightwing talk radio host allowing himself to be waterboarded--only to jump off the table after seven seconds.

Chicago talkshow host Erich "Mancow" Muller of WLS-AM 890 said he'd expected to last at least 30 seconds. Moments after he called off the waterboarding, Mancow admitted that, sorry to say, waterboarding is indeed torture, no way around it.

Since Sean Hannity is pretending he never agreed to be waterboarded for charity, thereby denying a worthy group some of Olbermann's money, the Countdown host decided to pay in honor of Mancow's seeing the light. Nobody's gonna make any money betting that Hannity will ever go through with his pledge.

Uncharacteristic Silence from Lying Coward Sean Hannity

It's now been more than a month since Keith Olbermann offered Foxnews mannequin Sean Hannity a thousand dollars for every second Hannity could withstand waterboarding--all for a good cause, of course.

It was Hannity who first volunteered to be waterboarded, saying he'd do it for charity, and his boast led to some intense interest, like the site waterboardseanhannityforcharity.com.  Sadly, no word yet from big brave Sean about when he'll put his lying behind on the table. Olbermann made a pretty safe bet.

                                                               

Dear Cokie Roberts, Retire Already

Thank God for this piece from Jack Shafer in Slate about useless glassy-eyed DC Village Idiot Cokie Roberts. After working with Sam Donaldson to kill "This Week" after David Brinkley left the show, she still guests there as one of the Comment Blatherers at the end of each program. In addition to that, she also 'analyzes' the news each Monday morning for NPR.  I'm relieved to learn I'm not the only one who finds her commentary stupid.

If Roberts' vacuous segments seem phoned-in, it's probably because they are. She does them from her home. In 2000, she told the New York Times that her "dog barking during a show" presented the "biggest problem" doing the early-a.m. spot, adding that her pup's NPR airtime had made him "something of a cult figure."

If only the dog barked a little more—the segment might have more going for it. I can think of no comparably sized media space that's as void of original insight and information as Roberts'. Her segments, though billed as "analysis" by NPR, do little but speed-graze the headlines and add a few grace notes. If you're vaguely conversant with current events, you're already cruising at Roberts' velocity.  

                                                  

I generally like NPR, but when Cokie comes on, that's my cue to channel surf.